I was 相琴， he was my 直樹. No, he cannot be like zhi shu who is tall, shuai, rich, and genius, he became zhi shu because I really admire xiang qin's sacrificing and undying love for zhi shu. after learning that ISWAK was actually based on a real life love story, I became more inspired to be like xiang qin, who 努力的追她的幸福。。just realizing how xiang qing successfully made zhi shu fall in love with her inspired me a lot to work hard for my own happiness as well.



we started as textmates as soon as I graduate from high school. we weren't really close though we've known each other since childhood. I think he has a gf around that time, but I didn't care coz I wasn't really into him and that time, I was busy chasing someone else.

The days passed by, we were growing closer and closer. we had a 戀人未滿 relationship for two years until the time I confirmed that he already has a girlfriend. that was in 2008.

of course i was hurt then, but I can't do anything as he was never mine on the first place. that happened around the time when I was starting to discover frh and has started to become active in puddingland. my pudding 姐妹s has, unknowingly, helped me move on with my heartbreak.

until the time came when i was ready to fall in love again. i have started seeing this guy, who was known by everyone to like me for quite some time now. torpe lang kumbaga. it was in february 22, 2010, 'zhishu' approached me and asked for my number, which I gave him. I realized then that I haven't changed my number, but i still gave him my number anyway, yung smart, kasi lam ko smart sya, eh globe si other guy, kakapaload ko lang sa globe nun so i planned na mag globe muna for other guy. kaso zhishu texted me a few hours later. after 2 years, he texted me again. i don't know how to describe that feeling. i thought i have already forgotten him and has completely moved on but there i was, having mixed emotions upon seeing his sms.

to make the long story short, naging textmates ulit kami. all my questions in the past were answered. then he mentioned na he wouldn't be that close to me before if he didn't like me on the first place. so syempre haba agad ng hair ng lola mo! in short again, naging kami. ito na ang katuparan ng mga pangarap ko! xiang qin is finally with zhishu! my 總有一天還你為我瘋狂 chant was effective! (i even highly recommended it to meimei haha!) but of course, in every relationship, laging may problema yan. until a point of time in my life came when I realized na I'm not really like xiang qin pala, that I was in fact like cheng you qing, who had this "I will show him that I became better when he left, and I'll show him that I don't need him anymore."  thinking when I let him enter my life again, then finally realizing that I haven't actually moved on. this time, after pondering on things, i realized that he wasn't zhi shu after all! he was in fact like that jerk, ding li wei, who returned to you qing saying he's changed and everything when he's not! and jj and i had the same ending with you qing and ding li wei.

Of course it hurts. a lot. I know only time can tell when all these wounds would heal. but I know moving on is hard when I still see him. Sadly, unlike you qing, I don't have a da ren ge who is always there, waiting for me.

我要改變。我一定要改變！pag naka move on ako. hu u ka saken!